So what couples should know in fixing a troubled marriage?
Know the signs of a troubled relationship. In fixing a troubled marriage you have to acknowledge that your marriage is in trouble. Some couples are in denial that there are problems in their relationship that they pretend that things are still okay but in reality there is something wrong in the relationship. A troubled marriage has it signs and if you ignored those signs, you will wake up one day that you cannot take it anymore and the next thing you know is that your marriage is heading for divorce. Every marriage is unique but there are common signs that a marriage is in trouble such as withdrawing from each other, you don’t trust each other anymore, you don’t discuss or talk anymore about your problems, getting less intimate with each other, you no longer have fun together, you are happy when your spouse is not around, you don’t see eye to eye anymore on a lot of things, you fight a lot, you fight unfairly with each other, disagreements and misunderstandings are taking their toll, etc. Acknowledging that your marriage is in trouble is the first step in fixing a troubled marriage.
Take a deeper look on the issues in your marriage. In fixing a troubled marriage, it is important to learn the issues in your marriage to know what you can do about it. Couples sometimes see the problems in their marriage on the surface level and failed to dig deeper and discover the real problems in their relationship. It is important to reconnect with your spouse and communicate regularly to see what is really wrong in your marriage. Instead of focusing on the tantrums or bad moods of your spouse, find the reasons behind those negative behaviors. There are many reasons why you are drifting apart such as lack of time with each other, unrealistic expectations, miscommunication, etc. Take time to learn the issues in your marriage if you want to succeed in fixing your troubled marriage.
Address the issues in your marriage and create workable solutions. In addressing the problems in your marriage, it is important that you and your spouse are on the same page and have the same commitment that you both want to save the marriage. The conversation may result to arguments but always remember to stick on the subject or on the issue being discussed. Create workable solutions and if you cannot see eye to eye on certain issues, try to make adjustments and compromise. With regards to your differences, if you cannot compromise, learn to peacefully agree to disagree and respect each other’s decision.
Fight fair. In fixing a troubled marriage, it is inevitable for couples to argue or fight with each other. If you need to argue, remember to fight fair because you want to rescue your marriage. Do not let small things build up into something big that when one explodes it will lead to a big fight. That is not fair, what is fair is that you both discuss or argue on real-time basis but if it is not possible and the situation is too intense, let it pass for at least 24 hours and set a time to discuss the issue again. Fighting fair means the issues in your marriage are discussed just between the two of you, you don’t involve third parties like your in-laws, friends or your children. Stick on the subject that you need to talk or argue about and do not bring up past issues or baggage. No name calling, teasing, mocking or putting all the blame to your spouse. Remember that you are not fighting to win but you are fighting to fix the trouble in your marriage. Above all, be willing to apologize when you are at fault and be willing to forgive.
Seek help as soon as possible. Do not put aside the troubles in your marriage. Act now and do not wait till it is too late to save your marriage. Do not wait until your marriage is totally ruined and beyond repair. Marriage counseling, marriage help books and advice from people who are successful in their marriage are great resources in fixing a troubled marriage. Timing is important in fixing a troubled marriage. If you procrastinate or delay fixing your marriage, you cannot guarantee that things will still be repairable. Seek help as soon as possible if the conflicts in your marriage is too big for both of you to fix.
Make a commitment to work on your marriage every single day. The commitment of making the marriage work is important in fixing a troubled marriage. Making a promise to work on your marriage is giving a commitment that you will work things out with your spouse every single day. If you are determined to make the relationship work and last, it will happen. Having that commitment is honoring your vows that you will love each other for better or worse for the rest of your lives. If something is not working in your marriage using a certain method, it is time to try another method until the conflicts in your marriage are resolved. Look forward and not backwards because troubles in your marriage cannot be resolved if you keep bringing up past mistakes. Forgive each other and move on.
Fixing a troubled marriage is not easy but if you know what you are doing, nothing is impossible. To save a troubled marriage visit Save My Marriage Today
