Conflicts in a marriage can be hard to resolve but it is not
impossible. In every problem in life, that includes marital problems,
you need concrete guidelines to arrive at the right solution and resolve
the problem. The following guidelines can be very helpful to solve your marital conflicts.
Be receptive and make your spouse feel that his or her feelings are
important. One hindrance in solving marital conflicts that could worsen
marriage problems is that spouses have the impression that the marriage
is not a safe place to express their feelings, wants and needs. If
spouses are not allowed to express their feelings, there is a high
chance that they would just withdraw and avoid facing the conflict. They
will have the impression that it is better to avoid dealing with the
conflict which can be very dangerous in a marriage. Problems won’t go
away if they are ignored, the next thing you know, issues in your
marriage are taking their toll to the point that the problems are
already too big for both of you to handle. To solve your marital
conflicts, both spouses should be sensitive to their spouse’s feelings
and needs.
Be open-minded and see things in your spouse’s point of view.
Sometimes conflicts become worse because you are so preoccupied with
your own feelings and reasoning. You always have the last say and you
have the analysis of the situation on your own perspective. If you
really want to solve your marital conflicts, you have to be open-minded
and see things in your spouse’s perspective too.
Remember that you want
to save your marriage so pointing fingers, blaming and solving the
problem the way you want it to be resolved could make the situation
worse. As the saying goes, there are two sides to a coin. There are many
angles in a problem so you have to look at it at different perspective.
Marriage is the union of two individuals so the point of view of your
spouse is also important.
Learn to communicate effectively. You can’t solve your marital
conflicts if you keep on shouting to each other. Nothing can be solved
if you cannot learn the art of good communication. Effective
communication is not all about talking but most importantly, it is about
listening. You might forget to listen to the point of view of your
spouse if you are too consumed by your desire to be heard. An effective
communication is not only about sharing your own feelings but it is also
about listening to the feelings of your spouse. Communication should
serve as a bridge to close the gap between you and your spouse.
Own up to your mistakes. It is cowardly to just point fingers and
refuse to accept your mistakes. Nobody is perfect and a relationship
like marriage is complicated so we are bound to make mistakes. It is not
about not committing mistakes but it is about realizing your mistakes,
owning up to your mistakes and make an effort not to do them again. If
you have the humility to admit your mistakes, it is not impossible to
solve your marital conflicts. Besides, this is not about winning over
your spouse and proving who is wrong and who is right. This is about
saving your marriage. Admitting and accepting your mistakes is
reinforcing humility in your marriage which can be very helpful to
strengthen your marriage.
Keeping a marriage is not easy and it is normal to encounter
conflicts and misunderstandings but what matters is knowing how to
properly handle and solve your marital conflicts. To keep a long-lasting
marriage, visit Your Marriage Savior System
