How To Get Rid of Your Stale Relationship Once and For
Is your relationship or marriage going downhill?
When you discover that your relationship has become stale and you always find it boring to even hang out with the love of your life, it is a sure sign that you need to do something about your relationship. Do not be depressed about your relationship circumstances or marriage situation. Try apply the following strategies to rekindle the passion in the relationship. These strategies can be so powerful and quick-acting that you would be amazed at the sudden, happy results they unfailingly bring to your love problems.
1) There are couples who have reached the stage of "even if there is no communication, but we have reached a stage of mutual understanding and appreciation of each other's presence". Be aware! This does not guarantee that your relationship or marriage would be long lasting! Many of my readers have had such experiences. All along they have been thinking that their relationship life is so smooth going and obstacles-free, and when one day their lover come up to them and tell them they want to leave the relationship, they got the big shock of their life . Your relationship needs to be attended to every now and then, no matter how easy going and brilliant everything seems to be at the moment.
As we surf through life, we are going to learn the lessons life is going to throw at each and every one of us, including yourself and your partner. No one can guarantee that the thoughts that you are holding dear and true to yourself (or even to your partner), will be the same the next day. This is how we will grow, develop and improve. It is normal that you have disagreements with each other once in a while. In fact, it is healthy; and it can help you to develop more understanding towards your partner. If you are constantly having negative feelings about yourself, your partner or even your own relationship circumstance. Remember this fact, which has often been overlooked. Negative and unhappy feelings are caused by us, not by exterior
happenings. Your life circumstance and events present the challenge, but it is YOU who react to it. What you need to do is to work on the ways you handle things and take things, NOT to the things themselves.
2) In order to rekindle the passion and harmony in your relationship, returning it to the way it once is, you have to learn how to regain your natural and spontaneous feeling for life. Break focus. Concentrate not on your relationship or marriage problems, but on becoming the solution. Your solution is often not how HE/SHE has changed, will change into, or is going to change into. The solution is YOU. If you are sad about your relationship, what most of you would normally do is to immediately take yourself as the feeling (of sadness). You think you are this "feeling", which you are not. And you would find yourself tend to double the mistake by telling yourself, "I am unhappy. I am sad." The more you say it, the sadder you feel; the sadder you feel, the more you'll say it. There, you have a vicious cycle.
3) Recall when you go for your first date, you are bubbling with excitement and much anticipation. I know how it feels. It happens to me. I love that feeling, of initially falling in love. As you go for more dates, and you understand each other more and more, your anxiety and doubts about the relationship will reside.
You want to see more of each other. You have a strong interest in developing this relationship and love further. You do everything you can to nurture it, and make sure that it grows. When you have finally succeeded in settling down with the love of your life, your wish of wanting to keep nourishing and nurturing this relationship subside. When you are starting to have this type of feeling, you have to not take things for granted. Taking your relationship for granted is often a sure way of growing your relationship problems. Put some heart and thoughts about bringing some excitement and life into your relationship.
Always bear in mind, there is never an end to how far and how much you can grow and develop your love and relationship for each other.
4) Drop your unrealistic expectations of the other person. True Love is not craving or attachment. When there is craving involved, it is not genuine love. It is a secret wish to flee from your unwanted self into the other person. I have readers who have such strong cravings for another person that they suffer the torment of missing him/her whenever they are not around. Why suffer? Try to understand that this is all unrealistic imagination of the other person, whoever they are .
It is your egoistic mind painting a false image of him/her. He (Her) is attractive, very likely because they represent a need in you which you may or may not be aware of - all those
good qualities such as strength, perseverance, determination, truthfulness, loyalty, etc. But such
qualities are not a reality in the other person. You can view this person differently. Choose to view that person in this way. You'll be surprised at the result you'll get, just like myself. Whenever my partner is not behaving or reacting in the way I (secretly) want to see and feel, I just remind myself that I can view this person differently. He (She) has not changed. I have.
5) Understand that there are different types of relationships existing in this world. Your love for each other could be similar to that of mother-child, or it could mirror that of a brother-sister relationship. Whatever it is, if one party is too protective of the other person, and the other person is not reciprocating appropriately, pressure will start to occur; misunderstanding would ensue. Consciously work on the balance in your relationship. If your mate has been loving to you, show your love or show your appreciation for him/her. If your partner is busy, keep yourself busy.
When your relationship problems start to overwhelm you, slow down, take a deep, deep pause. Tell yourself there is another way to live. It does exist. Thought elusive, it is always there. You can be happy and clam always. Welcome the obstacles and problems in your relationship life. They will eventually awaken you to the very life you seek.
The understanding of your sadness and unhappiness will lead you onto the path to true awakening. You cannot become happy by changing your exterior happenings. It is true. You cannot improve your handwriting just by changing a new pen. When trying to solve your relationship or love problems, choose to react to every situations constructively. It is useful to
remember this. Take note of it. I pin it in front of me so that I will always be reminded of the truth, each and everyday "You feel good not because your relationship life is right; but your relationship life is right because you feel good!"
