Marriage is not always a bed of roses, conflicts between couples
could bring worries and stress to the relationship. There are many
issues and conflicts that may arise when two individuals are living
under one roof as a couple. Parenting issues, money issues, boredom,
jealousy, broken trust, lack of appreciation, poor communication and the
list goes on. Relationships like marriage is complicated and conflicts
are inevitable and to keep your marriage, you have to learn how to handle conflicts in your marriage.
Everyone wants a happy and long-lasting married life but as couples
start living together, conflicts cannot be avoided. Here are some tips
on how to handle conflicts in your marriage and avoid divorce.
Self assessment. As the saying goes “it takes two to Tango”, there
are two people in a marriage so when conflicts occur, instead of
pointing fingers, look at yourself and assess yourself. You can
effectively handle conflicts in your marriage if you will look
at yourself and your mistakes than blame your spouse. Self assessment is
very important if you want to create a long-lasting marriage and
prevent divorce. Reflect and think about your behavior and your mistakes
and how you can improve yourself to resolve the conflicts in your
marriage.
Take the initiative to discuss the conflicts with your spouse. Pride
and ego are good in other situations but when it comes to resolving
issues with your spouse, your ego should take a back seat. One effective
way to handle conflicts in your marriage is to take the initiative to
talk to your spouse about your marital problems. When bringing up the
issue with your spouse it is important to be sensitive with his or her
feelings. Instead of saying “You made me feel bad last night by leaving
just like that” which may sound blaming your spouse, it is better to say
“last night because I was left alone”. It is better to start the
conversation with “I” than “You” to avoid giving your spouse the feeling
that you are blaming him or her. You can communicate better with your
spouse when you are sensitive with his or her feelings.
Listen to your spouse. You cannot handle conflicts in your marriage
effectively if you will just talk and refuse to listen. If you need to
compromise on something, your spouse’s views and opinions are also
important. Give your spouse the opportunity to be heard and express his
or her feelings. The decision should not be made by one partner only.
When your partner is talking, listen and ask only questions related to
the conflicts being discussed and do not bring up unrelated topics that
happened in the past. Sometimes just the gesture of willingness to
listen to your spouse makes the conflict easily resolved.
Stay calm. To handle conflicts in your marriage, do not let your
emotions rule over you. Always try to control your emotions and stay
calm. Do not yell or call your spouse names and bring up baggage from
the past because nothing will be resolved with this attitude. Try not to
lose your temper because you might say things you will regret later. If
you feel that you are losing control of your emotions, breathe deeply
or take a break for a few minutes but do not walk out for good. Go back
after a few minutes to discuss the problem with your spouse.
Be positive. Always keep in mind that all relationships go though
rough times and having conflicts in your marriage is nothing but normal.
Every couple argue and fight from time to time but what matters is how
you handle conflicts in your marriage. Always keep a positive attitude
to avoid getting anxious or stressed out. A positive attitude is
important if you want to effectively handle conflicts in your marriage.
Being negative will only make the situation more difficult.
Marriage is a lifetime commitment and couples should save their
marriage at all costs in times of confusion and difficulties. Save your
marriage now and avoid divorce, visit Save Your Marriage
