7 Qualities Girls Like Their Ideal Partner To Have!

If you are a man reading this, you need to pay attention! There are some things that you need to know so that you can find and KEEP a great relationship. You need to understand what women want to have in their ideal partner. This may be you but you may have to make some changes in your life and this list is going to help you do just that.

MEN Please Take Notes

1. You need to be a good listener. A woman wants to have a man in her life that listens to everything that she says. It is going to make her happy and you never know when you are going to learn something important. You need to make sure that you are paying attention and using your best intensions when she is talking to you. Be considerate and even if it is a subject that you have no interest in, pretend anyway!

2. Make sure that you are asking your girl the right questions. Take an interest in what she did that day. “ What did you do today?” or “ How was your day?” these are great questions to ask a woman because she is going to love telling you about it. Never tell her what to do or the right way that you believe to do something. You want to make sure that you are offering the right advice when it comes time to.

3. Do not give her advice on what to do all the time. She wants you to listen and not to give out instructions all the time. Yes, it is good to offer help and to give support when you are asked. However do not push your opinions on her and certainly do not let her think that your way is always the right way no matter how tempting it may be.

4. Make good eye contact with her. When she walks into a room, pay attention! Let her know that she looks great and that you are appreciating the way that she takes the time to make herself look great for you. She will love the fact that you are taking the time to pay attention to her and looking at her eyes and not at everything else. That is for later!

5. Make sure that you are telling her that you love her. You need to give her affection. Every woman wants to have affection from her man. This is going to make her feel loved and special and why wouldn’t you want to do this? Giving her love and appreciation will make it all seem worthwhile and she will love you more for it and it will put her in a better mood too. What man does not want to put his girl in a better mood? The better her mood usually means that better your mood will be.

6. Spending time with the girl is very important. You do not always have to do what you want to do. Make sure that you are taking an interest in what makes her happy. This may mean that you have to do certain things that you would not normally do but you have to think ahead. When you are doing thing that she likes, you will be making her happy and you may end up liking it too.

7. Actions are a great way to make a woman feel good. Touch her hand and hug her at any given moment. Show her that you are affectionate towards her. Do nice thing for her when she is least expecting it. She will defiantly appreciate this. You want to surprise her with little things when you can. Women love this type of thing even it is something as simple as flowers or candy from time to time. You can also give her a back rub at night when she has had a hard day. She will defiantly appreciate this.

Learning the right tools is going to be the key factor in your relationship with a woman. You need to make sure that you are giving her all the attention that you can so that you are letting her know that she is important and how she feels does matter to you.

Big No-No's In Your Relationship with A Woman, Which She Secretly Wish You Knew!

There are things that women want men to know but do not tell them. This is going to mean the difference between a good relationship and a bad one. If men could only know about these things that are big no-nos and knew what women wanted, they would be able to have happier relationships with the woman in their life.

Giving Respect is as Important as Getting It

One thing is respect. Women want to have respect. When it comes to respecting women, some men are not so good at it. This may end up resulting in them losing out in the relationship. It is important to show respect to a woman that you are involved with or any woman for that matter. Give them an opportunity to see that you can be a good guy and that you can respect what they believe and let them have their own feelings about things.

Respect is going to be shown through actions. You can do nice things for a woman like opening up the door, giving up your seat or talking to her differently with passion and concern. It is not acceptable to just fake some charm on a first date. You need to be real and up front about how you are going to be in the relationship on a day-to-day basis.

Being Kind to the World

Being kind is another secret that most men do not know that women want. Women want their man to be kind to everyone. They want them to nice to everyone that they meet to some degree. Treating others nicely will mean that they are kind and are going to give the same type of treatment that they deserve and expect from everyone else. Kindness can go a long way to a women’s heart and it should be something that men think about.

Having Accountability for Actions

Women want men to have accountability. They wan to make sure that men are going to take the responsibility for the things that they have done. This can mean anything from the smallest problem to bigger life changing events that happen in their life. Women want to make sure that they are with a man that is going to be a stand-up guy and do what they are supposed to do.

Loving Family

One no no that women hate is a man that does not love her family. Women want to have a man that is going to love their family and take on the pressures of family life in a good way. This means their parents, brothers, sisters and children all the same. They need to know that they can rely on their husbands or boyfriends to do what is needed of them. Most women need someone that they can trust and whom they know is going to be there for them when they are most in need.

Being Safe and Secure

Women want to also feel safe with their men. They want to know that they have nothing to worry about and that they are in good hands when they are with them. Having the feeling of security is going to mean all the difference when a woman is with their man. They want to be secure not only with their man but they also want to know that their man is going to be there to protect them when they need it the most.

Women need to make sure that their man is taking their relationship seriously. They want to know that their man is going to be there for them no matter what and they want to make sure that they are for real in the partnership. Try not to joke around all the time and laugh about things in the relationship as this is going to insult some women and make them feel low. Women want their men to be committed and serious about what is going on in the relationship just as they do.

Dealing With Strong Feelings: 7 Ways To Get Over A Broken Heart FAST!

A broken heart is hard to deal with no matter how the break up goes down. It is something that may hurt for a long time to come. You need to figure out how to get over a broken heart when it happens. It may not be something that you want to think about but you have to do it because life does go on and you need to take advantage of it.

There are going to be different phases of the breakup. You need to go through them all so that you are able to achieve the sense of security and love that you once did. Having these feelings are going to be good for you but you do not want to take them too far. This will only make things harder on you when it comes to getting on with your life. There are predicable phases of a break up. You may have been through them before, but there are some good ways to deal with your strong feelings and get over that broken heart fast!

1. You need to share your feelings. Getting out what you are feeling is going to make you feel better inside. You want to share these feelings with your friends and family or anyone that will listen to you. Having a good support is going to help you get through the tough times faster. You do not have to let it out all at once. Talk about it slowly and work your way up to getting it all out in the open.

2. Think about what is good for you. You have to get over this broken heart fast so that you are able to feel better. You need to make good choices for what is good for your heart and soul. Make sure that you are not putting yourself in any situation that may be harmful for you. Getting over the breakup is important and you need to do what is best for you.

3. Taking good care of you is important. You want to keep eating and exercising and staying healthy. You need to keep your strength up so that you are able to be strong and able to feel good about yourself. This will help you get over the break up and get back on track.

4. Let it all out if you want to. Crying is good. You do not have to be embarrassed about crying. It is part of life. You will find that there are going to be hard times that hit you all of a sudden and you will feel like crying and letting it all out. You need to do this anyway to keep your sanity. This will help you feel better and get back on track. You need to do this when you feel the urge and do not worry about what others think.

5. Doing the things that you love the most will help you get over the break up too. You will want to make sure that you are keeping up with your hobbies and doing what makes you the happiest. You want to keep your schedule on track and stay busy. This will help you heal faster.

6. Keeping busy is key. You need to stay on the go and keep your mind occupied. This will allow you to keep those unhappy and undesirable life events out of your mind and keep you motivated to stay healthy. You want to make sure that you are doing all that you can to stay busy. You will want to talk to your friends, go out more and spend some time with your family. These things will make you feel better and help heal your wounded heart.

7. Time is of the essence. You need to remember that all wounds heal with time. You need to give yourself the time and soon you will notice that you are not feeling so bad and that life is good again. If you actively seek the answers to the problematic areas of your life which has caused your breakups, you will find the answers. Seek the help of an expert if you desire to restore your marriage or your relationship. Ask and talk to people who have successfully saved their relationship. Their insights and experience can help you pull through this period. Who knows, once you have it all figured out, you could well be on your way to save your relationship and have your lover running back into your arms again!

There is no need to worry when you are involved in a break up. Everyone has been through it and there is going to be happiness again. When a relationship breakup happens, understand that it is not your fault and do not put all the blame on yourself. It usually does mean that something has gone off-balance in your life and in your relationship and you need to put that balance back.

How To Resolve Issues In Your Relationship

At some time in our personal relationships, we all go through problems, but unless you pinpoint the problems and learn how to resolve them, your relationship can fall apart.

1) Take Your Relationship To a New Place

Getting away from the norm can be a healthy thing for a long relationship. Long relationships tend to create habits and routines that are hard to break for both partners. It is important to stay spontaneous in your relationship and this is not a new concept but a very true one. You can easily fall into routines such as getting up, going to work, coming home, eating, watching TV and then going to bed.

Try to spice it up a little and make different plans every few days and a couple of weekends a month. Remember, though, it is difficult to make these changes every single day, so try to space them out. Shaking things up too much can be as big of a problem as sticking with a routine.

There are lots of ways to break those routines. It doesn't matter if it is for a week, weekend, or just the day, as some time away from the norm can be very therapeutic. A nice option is to find a place where the romance can ignite, as you have some alone time with your partner.

Unfortunately, until it happens to them, many people do not think that living with an individual can make them lonelier than they’ve ever been in their lives. Studies indicate, though, that thousands in a committed relationship feel alone.

Not many people in relationships spend a lot of time with their partner, and they tend to take them for granted. Sometimes there are days when the couple does not even talk about anything that has real meaning. This can be negative on both sides, and by exerting some effort to pay more attention to your partner it can bring about a healthier relationship. Getting away from those old routines can help get the two of you where you need to be.

2) Listening, Talking, Then Speaking

If a conversation is brought up, and an argument happens, you should try to think why the argument came about. Sometimes you can provoke the argument, and you are not aware you are doing so.

For example, constantly criticizing your partner or dwelling on small details in a negative way is a way of provoking confrontation and not knowing it. Maybe you always harp on her clothes. Alternately, perhaps you incessantly complain that he’s late when he comes home.

It doesn’t matter what it is, if you discover this is happening, you should try to listen carefully when you speak. You should try to look into the future what will happen if you happen to say this or do that. You are the person who knows your partner better than anyone else; therefore use this to your advantage. Understand what triggers the arguments, and you may be able to solve them before they start.

3) Making Time for One Another

There’s no simple way around it, our lives are busy places. That time spent elsewhere, though, means time you’re choosing not to focus on your relationship, and that can cause some real problems. Set aside time just to spend with your partner.

After being in the relationship for a long period of time, this can be the only way get control of the spiraling problems you may be experiencing. Try to set aside some time where you can have a good conversation or go for a walk. Setting aside some time to enjoy your time together can help make a healthier relationship.

4) Making Time For Yourself

Spending too much time with someone for too long can be overwhelming. You may discover that taking a solo trip refreshes you, as well as your partner. You may find that you will miss your partner and it may take some time alone to realize this.

Focusing on yourself for a bit may, in turn, help you to focus on your relationship. For example, while you’re on your own, you may discover that your partner often speaks for you. Understanding the root cause of this problem may help you communicate the issues to your partner more effectively.

If you and your partner are having relationship problems you should try to look at the problem and sit down with them to have a heart to heart alone talk with no interruptions. If this still does not work and you are still having relationship problems then counseling may be a good option.
The relationship is an investment in time and emotion. Because of this, you should take advantage of the time you spend together and, in a constructive way, come to terms with why the problems are occurring.

How To Save Your Marriage and Stop Your Divorce : Let's Start Talking Again

It’s a fact that more marriages end in divorce than those that last. It used to be that marriages really were forever. The phrase “’till death do us part” was actually meant when it was uttered during wedding vows.

Now, we see or hear about celebrities who marry for 18 hours and couples that get hitched only to get legal status in one country or another.
Marriage is not a word that should be taken lightly, yet it is on a daily basis. But what do you do when your marriage is starting to fall apart, when everything you want is slowly slipping away? You rescue it.

1) Rescuing the Relationship
To save your relationship, you must first figure out what is causing it to fall apart.
Do you and your spouse talk about things, or are you too busy working and raising your family to discuss what’s going on? Have you gone on a date in the last six months?
Do you fight and argue all the time, or has one of you cheated on the other? What is causing the relationship to break down? Let’s face it; you don’t just wake up one morning and say, “I think I’d like a divorce today.”

In order to figure out what’s going (or gone) wrong in your relationship, you need to take a step back from your feelings to observe what is going on.

If you fight frequently, write down the things you fight about. Write down the amount of time you’ve spent together in the last few days, and write down what you were doing when you weren’t spending time together.

You will want to get everything straight in your head before you start to talk to your spouse about your problems and what you think might be damaging your relationship.

2) Talking—It’s Not Overrated
After you have gathered your information, approach your spouse.
Make sure you go into the discussion calmly and rationally. You also want to make sure that you’re not accosting or accusing, but rather asking and questioning.
If you go into the talk too aggressively, you are going to turn them off and nothing will get answered or resolved. Make sure you lay everything out on the table, from the things that are bothering you to the things that you wish you did more of together.
Explain that you want to know how your spouse is feeling, and that you care about where they want the relationship to go.

3) Scheduling
If you have a busy schedule, you may want to make an appointment to have this discussion. Actually, making a schedule for the two of you on a weekly basis is an excellent idea.
All parents know that children thrive on routine, which is why they have a time to wake up, a time to eat, and a time to go to bed. Relationships thrive on a somewhat of a timed schedule, as well.
For instance, take the case of my friend and her husband. Both of them spend every Saturday night together. They have young children, so most of the time they stay in instead of going out. They will rent a movie and either get take-out or some quick meal they can throw together once the kids have gone to bed.

They leave the lights on in the living room long enough to eat their meal, and then, once that’s done, they put the dishes in the sink (they will still be there the next day, so there’s no reason to spoil the mood by doing them), turn the lights off and snuggle together to watch the rest of the movie. They don’t talk about anything except the movie, and make sure that they are touching each other as much as they can.

It is not “un-romantic” to schedule time to be with your spouse. Make sure that you get some time together, whether it’s going out together, or staying in watching a movie. For myself and my boyfriend, sometimes we’ll pull out a board game, add some alcohol, and have a great night being silly together.

As you get along in your relationship, you come to take each other for granted. Spending fun, relaxing time together is one great way to get your relationship back on track.
If you’re thinking about filing for divorce because you can’t stand the fighting anymore, stop. Think about why you are fighting, and try to put yourself in your partner’s shoes. When you love each other and put a little work into it, marriages really can last forever.

How To Save Your Marriage - With Touch and Sex

There are a number of things that can cause a solid marriage to crumble. One minute you’re eating pot roast gathered around the dinner table; the next you’re watching your spouse pack up the family vehicle and you’re torn between despair, anger, and a broken heart.
Your mind may be racing through the past few years, remembering when you first got together, to the last discussion you had. Is it possible to go back and change things? No. You can’t change the past, no matter how many years you’ve been together—but you can start fixing things between the two of you.

1) Sit. Relax. Talk.

In order to fix your marriage, you need to get on even ground again. Right now you may be feeling as though things are extremely lumpy between the two of you, so you need to even out the playing field. Schedule a time when the two of you can sit and talk.

If it’s possible, get to neutral territory. Here is what one of my friends did when she had a fight with her husband and which I felt was very effective. When her husband and herself were having a huge fight, they called a babysitter to come watch their children and took off.

They didn’t talk about anything in the car, but instead drove to a beautiful river about 15 minutes from their house. She told me they sat by the river and talked about what was going on in their marriage, and about how they could fix it. Being by the river relaxed my friend, and being out of theirr home relaxed her husband. It was the perfect spot for them to talk about our problems. A change of environment can do wonders if you are having a good discussion.
There are a few rules you have to both agree upon before you have a discussion.

a. No yelling. Yelling is not conducive to solving your problem. It does nothing but anger your spouse and cause negative emotions to escalate, so avoid it at all costs.

b. Stick to the issues. Don’t drag things in from years ago that have already been settled. If your spouse cheated on you 10 years ago, but you’ve forgiven them and they haven’t touched another person since, don’t drag that into the battle. Leave the past alone and work on the present and the future.

c. Time yourselves. Some people tend to be so passionate that they don’t let their partner get a word in edgewise. Bring an egg timer along and give yourself a specific amount of time to talk.
If you are able to follow these rules, you can have a discussion and get down to what is really making the foundation of the marriage crack.

2) Forgive
Once you’ve figured out what the problem is, you need to forgive it. It may sound a bit strange, but you need to forgive the relationship for not being perfect.
After all, the relationship is made by the people in it, and nobody’s perfect, which means that no relationship will be perfect. 

Understand and forgive that. Once you’ve gotten everything out, you should either be on the same page, or agreeing to disagree, which is fine as well. The whole point of talking is to be able to focus on the problem and get rid of it, or learn to deal with it.

3) Touch
Once your marriage is a little less shaky, it’s time to build the supports back up.
When is the last time you greeted your spouse at the door with a long hug and kiss when they arrived home from work?

If your spouse comes home after you, greet them at the door. Offer a huge hug and a relaxing kiss so that they can truly transition from being at work to being at home.
When’s the last time you danced together? Dancing is an excellent way to get your bodies used to each other again. Sway to some music in the middle of your living room, or do the jitter bug in your kitchen!

Enjoying each other is a wonderful way to keep things fresh and healthy between the two of you.

4) Sex
You do not want sex to be the most important thing in your relationship, but it needs to factor in at some point. Sex releases endorphins, which elevates your mood.

It’s a way for the two of you to connect that you can share with no one else, and is both stimulating and comforting. Sometimes we get so busy we forget to spend time together in bed; so schedule time! Make it a date! For example, every Wednesday night you can shut things down early and meet each other in the middle of your bed.

When you learn to talk openly and spend plenty of time touching, enjoying each other, and making love, your relationship has nowhere to go but up.

How To Save Your Relationship : What to Do If You Are Always Arguing!

Most people live full-time with their parents for 18 years. If you meet the one whom you’re meant to be with before you’re 30 years old, you will hopefully end up spending more than 30 years with them. This means that you’ll be spending more than double the time with your spouse than you spent with your parents.

With such a large amount of time being spent with another person, it’s a given that you are going to clash now and again. Sometimes, however, the fighting gets so bad that one or the other of you may decide to quit your relationship all together.
So how do you save a relationship that seems to be headed down the toilet?

1) Recognize Reality
The first thing you have to do is recognize why you’re fighting. Are you fighting because you’re truly mad at each other, or are you fighting because you’re upset that some jerk at your office accused you of something you didn’t do?

You live together and are friends, of course, so it makes sense that you take out your moods and pent-up emotions on each other.

However, this can cause a lot of problems. Before your anger escalates to the boiling point, stop and figure out exactly why you’re angry. If you’re frustrated about something at work, let your lover know. They are the person you should be able to turn to when things aren’t going the way you want them to.

2) Find the Calm
The calmer you are, the more likely your spouse will be to take you seriously. People are more likely to listen to the words of a calm person than they are to someone who won’t stop ranting and raving.
One way in which you can learn to remain calm is to take up meditation or yoga. Simple breathing techniques that are taught in these disciplines can help you to learn to stay calm, even in the midst of a really difficult argument. When you learn these breathing techniques, you may be able to stave off the argument entirely, which is one way to help save your relationship.

3) Agree to Disagree
No two people are going to agree on everything all of the time. It would be a pretty boring world if we all did! Take the case of one of my male friends. He believes that his daughter shouldn’t have earrings until she is 14, while his wife believes that she should be allowed to have them anytime after the age of four.

This is an argument that threatened to tear them apart. Finally, they both agreed to disagree about the earring situation. He figured out that, when she got older, she would convince him herself. Sometimes you have to put aside your strong feelings and realize that your lover has strong feelings, as well. It’s perfectly all right to agree to disagree!

4) Teamwork
Instead of fighting against each other, come together and work for, or against, something. If you have children, work toward giving them the best life you can give them.
If you’re against something in your town, work toward getting it resolved. If you’re into sports, join a team together. The couple that plays together, stays together!

5) Dance and Romance
When my boyfriend and I first got together, we used to spend hours just talking late at night. We would both be exhausted the next morning from the time we spent awake, chatting with each other.
As our relationship got further and further apart, we realized that we never stayed up talking anymore. One evening the music was on and I grabbed him and started dancing around the room with him. The simple act made us happy and made us realize how much we loved just being in each other’s arms.

Dance and romance your partner. Sometimes swaying slowly together in a darkened kitchen is one of the nicest ways to reconnect.

Relationships are tricky things. When you put two people together for a long amount of time, they are bound to fight and bicker.

If the bickering gets bad enough, things can disassemble quite quickly. Find ways to show your lover how much you care about them. Put silly little love notes in their lunchbox. Write a message in the steam on the bathroom mirror, so that the next time they take a shower they will see the message.
Grab some lipstick and write “I love you” on their car window while they’re at work or busy doing something else.

Realize that nobody’s perfect, and focus more on reconnecting with your loved one rather than winning a battle.

Is My Man Cheating: Dealing With Cheaters In Your Relationship!

Nothing is more heart-wrenching than when you find out the one you love cheated on you with another person. You feel betrayed, angry, hurt, and frustrated, along with a myriad of other feelings. Is it possible to save a relationship that has been soiled by a cheating lover?
Can the one who was cheated on get over the betrayal, and will the one who cheated do so again?

1) Why Do People Cheat?
Most people will never be able to understand why another person would cheat on the one they love. There are a number of different reasons that both men and women cheat, but one thing is for sure: they believe that by cheating and going outside of the relationship, they can make things better inside the relationship.

Some people feel that they’re not getting what they need from their partner. They feel as though they’re not special to their partner anymore and go outside of the relationship in order to feel special again.

Others simply enjoy flirting and take things one step too far. Some do not know how to honor the boundaries of a relationship, and some men believe that they aren’t being manly if they turn down a sexual offer from a beautiful woman.

Does this make cheating okay? Of course not! If you have an open relationship, where each of you is allowed to be with other people, that’s one thing. If you’re in an exclusive relationship and you cheat behind your loved one’s back, it is not okay. You are breaking their trust and heart in order to get your own gratification.

2) Time to Heal
If you have been cheated on, you need some time to heal. My friend Tammy was cheated on by her partner of 10 years. He explained the situation away, telling her that he still loved her but that he wasn’t getting what he needed from her.

He was getting older, he said, and sleeping with someone so much younger than him made him feel better. To this day, I am still shocked that she didn’t scream when he said that. Instead, she came to us and we helped her to get her own apartment.

Tammy had never lived on her own and was very scared at the prospect. After a few months, she learned how to live on her own. She discovered that she missed her partner, and that while she didn’t condone what he had done, she understood his point of view. The two worked through their differences and have been happy together since.

If your partner has cheated on you, give yourself time to heal. It may take months for you to fully heal from the wound that was inflicted on your heart. If living with the person is too difficult, move away for a bit. You can stay with friends or family, or you can get your own place.

3) Forgive, Don’t Forget
In order for your relationship to be saved, it is vital that you forgive both your partner and the person they slept with. If you walk around harboring those feelings, your anger and jealousy will build until the relationship rots from the inside.

Forgiving your lover and the person they cheated with is the next step in saving your relationship. This does not mean that you should forget what happened. While you shouldn’t bring it up all the time, it’s important to remember what occurred (which is generally not too difficult).

How can you forgive your lover’s other partner? First of all, you need to recognize that the person is not perfect. They have flaws, both in their personality and in their body. Your partner likely chose this person for reasons other than looks or compatibility—such as luck and circumstance, or being at the “right place at the right time.”

How can you forgive your lover? Try seeing things from their point of view, realizing that not everyone is perfect, and knowing that some people make mistakes, including your lover.
The question then becomes whether or not you should forgive your lover. If your beloved is trying to make amends, and if they are truly sorry for what they did, your relationship still has a chance to mend and heal. If they explain what occurred and are willing to pour out their heart to you, things can get better. With a little time, and a lot of understanding, a relationship can survive a cheating lover.

Overcoming Your Relationship Breakup: STOP, Don't Go!

It’s over. Your loved one is saying that they’re going to leave. They’re packing up their stuff and are ready to move to a new place. How do you stop the breakup from happening?
How do you get things back to the way they were? How do you get your loved one to unpack their bags at home instead of somewhere else? There are a lot of ways to deal with such a situation—a lot of things you should, and shouldn’t, do.

1) The “Shouldn’ts”
Women tend to beg when their loved one is on the verge of leaving. I can remember, in minute detail (unfortunately), the way I begged my ex to not leave our apartment. I literally got down on my knees and grabbed him to stop him from leaving.

Did you notice I said “ex”? The first time I did this, it did work and he didn’t leave. We talked through our differences and were able to stay together for another couple of months. Then, once again, he prepared to leave. I pulled my stunt and guess what? He left anyway.

Our relationship was officially over. Your first instinct as a woman may be to beg and plead, but it just belittles you and generally doesn’t work on your loved one.

Don’t try to make your loved one jealous. Some people go out and make new “friends” in an effort to make their significant other jealous enough to not leave. Most of the time, this doesn’t work, either. Instead of making the spouse jealous, it may give them the final push they need to leave for good. A slight bit of jealousy can give a relationship a spark, but not if it’s already on a downswing.

2) The “Shoulds”
The first thing you should do is step back, breathe, and give your loved one some room. If they feel hemmed in, they’re not going to want to stay with you. Remember the old saying “You catch more flies with honey than vinegar?”

In giving them what they want, you are respecting their time and are giving yourself time to cool down, as well. In the heat of the argument, things are often said aren’t meant by either party. Time alone gives you the chance to breathe and to move onto the next step.

Step two involves figuring out what’s really going on in the relationship. Why does your loved one want to break up? Have you been fighting recently? Are all the fights about the same thing, or are they about random things?

If all the fights are about the same thing, then you already know what you have to work on. If they are about random things, there is probably some underlying argument simmering below the surface that hasn’t been discussed. Work on trying to figure out what that is.

Approach your loved one and calmly ask them what their biggest problem with the relationship is. Sometimes their answer will give you the direction that you should move in next.

3) Ch-ch-ch-changes
Everybody changes; it’s a fact of life! Who you are when you’re a senior in high school is not who you’ll be when you’re 30. Who you are now may not be who you are in a few months.
This is often why relationships start to fall apart: you feel as though you don’t know the person you’re with anymore. Make some time to get to know each other again! Spend time together doing simple things: walking, talking, sitting in the park feeding the birds.

Do things together that require that you are both alone together. You could go to a movie, but you really can’t talk well there. The best thing to do is to find something you can do that allows you to communicate with each other.

Open yourself up to your partner. Sometimes we focus so much on what we want that we neglect to think of how our partner is feeling. Often, if you try to see things through their point of view, you will find that you are much more empathetic to their feelings. You can see their side of the argument, and if you can do that, then you can fix it.

Strong relationships are fixable, and it’s always better to try to stop a breakup before it happens than to try to fix it after it’s been broken. After all, you can always fix a crack in a vase, but it’s a lot more difficult to find all of the pieces once it’s broken.

8 Easy Ways To Divorce Proof Your Marriage

There is no easy ways that you can make your relationship divorce proof. However, you can take your chances and trying to make it less of a bust, but you will never be able to guarantee yourself to have a divorce proof marriage. There are some things that you can do to make your marriage work better for you, but there is no guarantee that it will work out happily ever after.

1) Make your relationship and marriage stronger by always keeping the communication channels open.

If you always keep your feelings open and there is always 100% honesty in the relationship, your marriage will last years. You will be able to not worry about what the other is doing because you have a basis of trust that makes the relationship seem very secure for both partners. This makes marriage years go by so easily.

2) Tell your partner when things are going bad.

You may not want to hurt the others feelings, but you have to think about your feelings sometimes. When you are in a rut, you feel depressed and horrible, but if you manage to be open, you will be able to keep your marriage going strong. When you don’t open up about your feelings that is when people start going crazy with affairs and being careless about the relationship and about the love.

3) Learn how to live together.

You will know whether both of your are meant for each other if you can move in together and live together for a year or two before marriage. Those who love each other learn how to live together. They do not argue over petty things in the marriage because they have been there and done all of that. You will be able to build a strong commitment before you get married when you move in together before you two get married.

4) Make your relationship last by giving each other some affection.

Kiss your mate goodbye and kiss your mate when they walk in the door. Go to the movies hand and hand. Place your arms around your mate so that they will feel special when you are out together. Every time that you show your mate some affection, you are confirming all of the love that grows between you.

5) Bonding through doing some activities together.

Find something that you mutually like and then go do it together. You can exercise, dance, sing, go to a bar, watch a weekly show, and so on. It can be anything that you would like to. It is anything that you mutually enjoy.

6) You may find it to be odd, but you both need to have independent lives.

When couples spend too much together, they get themselves in trouble. You need to have a night out for yourself, and then you need to give your mate and night off, so you will end up having two nights where you two go out and do your own thing. You may want to spend this time on your hobbies or just going shopping or taking a bath. This is just where you spend time away from each other; it only has to be a couple hours of the night.

7) You need to also make time to be intimate with each other.

There are times when you need to spend some time away from each other and then they are times when you have to put some extra time aside to be intimate. You do not always have to have sex. You can cuddle, hug, kiss, massage each other, and so on. It can be anything that you two want that will keep the love and romance going. You can even play some games to spice it up in the bedroom.

8) Finally, you need to stay positive.

When you are honest and you take care of your relationship you are still going to find hard times. There are always ups and down in a relationship no matter how hard you work, but the thing is that people, who stick together, stay together. You will be able to keep your marriage going strong when you are able to focus on the positive.

There are so many things that you can do to make your relationship strong, however, you have to make sure that you are giving your mate the proper attention and love on a daily basis so that the hard times don’t seem so hard. You will also notice that if you can stay positive, you will have a positive relationship.

When You Are Not the First: How to Love a Woman Who Has Been Engaged

It’s a fact of life – you’re not the first man that your lady friend has been involved with. In many cases, she may have even considered marriage with a past beau, taken his engagement ring and headed for the altar before realizing that he wasn’t The One.

If so, you may be feeling a little insecure, wondering if that man was truly the love of her life and if she’s really ready to make a commitment to you now.

The truth is, you stand a much better chance of having a happy relationship with a woman who’s been serious with someone else before you. There are things about being in a relationship that people can only know from experience – both good and bad. How to compromise, for example, and how much actual work has to go into a long-term relationship to make it thrive

If she’s headed toward marriage once but changed her mind, she probably had a very good reason. So ask her why it didn’t work out – rather than sulk and feel jealous, use this as an opportunity to find out what she learned from the experience.

She may have felt that her previous fiancé was too clingy, or maybe he was bad with money. Her reasons for not marrying someone else will reveal not only what she wants from a marriage, but what she doesn’t want from you – things she may be nervous about saying outright, for fear of hurting your feelings.

If the broken engagement wasn’t her idea, she’ll very likely be skittish about you, and about how serious you are regarding the relationship. “Once bitten, twice shy” is a fact of life, and she might be harboring fears that you’ll leave her at some point, too.

She may have self-esteem issues related to the event, and feel that’s she’s not good looking enough or lovable enough to earn a lifetime commitment. If this is the case, you’ll need to be extremely supportive, loving, affectionate and complimentary.

Whether she was the one who terminated her previous engagement or not, she’s going to want to be very sure that you’re someone she wants to spend the rest of her life with before she commits. So you’ll want to take a good, long look at yourself and your behavior to ensure that you’re trustworthy. Part of that means keeping your word – showing up on time for dates, telling her the truth about who you see and what you do when you’re not with her, and staying faithful during the length of your relationship.

Women give honesty a high priority, especially when considering a mate. Be someone she knows she can trust – and that means really being trustworthy, not just putting on a convincing act – and you’re halfway home.

But being trustworthy is also about her allowing herself to entrust you with her emotions. Don’t play jealousy games, talking about other women that you find attractive just to feel more “loved” when she gets jealous.

Listen to what she tells you, really listen, and make sure she knows you care about what she has to say. Examine the way you talk to her, and note if you ever talk down to her as if she’s less intelligent than you are, or if you criticize appearance or her behavior all the time.

If so, she’s not going to feel safe with you – add that to the feelings she may still harbor over her failed engagement, and you’re not making yourself a very appealing prospect. On the plus side, a woman who has been serious enough about a man to consider marriage has experience in developing a long-term relationship. What you’ll gain from this is a partner who knows what she wants, and probably has no problem expressing it.

If she deems you worthy of her trust, she’ll give you her entire heart and be a faithful, loving spouse if you two tie the knot.

The key, as mentioned above, is to talk about what went wrong the first time – whether it was money problems, disagreements over whether to have children, family issues, a substance abuse problem or simply a realization that they weren’t right for each other, understanding the reason for the break-up will be educational, allowing you to judge whether you and she are a better fit, and what she expects from a serious relationship.

She’ll appreciate the fact that you want to understand her better, and you’ll gain from the insight into her past.

Romantic Love and Those Three Little Words -How To Tell Him You Love Him

So you’ve met the man of your dreams. Your heart sings, your pulse races, you walk around all moony-eyed and have trouble thinking about anything but him. You want to tell him that you love him, and that you think that he’s The One, but you don’t want to seem clingy – or worse, scare him off.

We’ve all heard horror stories about one partner telling the other that they love them and then getting the “thanks, but no thanks” response.
Maybe you’ve experienced it yourself, adding to your fears. So how do you tell him that you love him without coming off like a creepy stalker?

1) Choose the right place and the right time. 
 
Think hard about when and where you want to tell him. If you’re worried that he won’t respond with enthusiasm, it helps to be prepared. Maybe you’d like to tell him on the anniversary of when you met, or at the place you first kissed, or over dinner at your favorite restaurant. Set the stage for romance and he’ll respond more positively.

2) Make it romantic.
Candlelight and music work on men just as well as they work on women. Wear something that you know he likes to see you in, ply him with his favorite meal, and get him in a romantic mood.

3) Make sure you can back it up.
Before you blurt out “I love you,” tell him what you appreciate about him. Compliment him and tell him what it is about him that you really like. Tell him how wonderful he makes you feel when you’re together and why you value your relationship. Be sincere, and be specific. Let him know that you value him for the many things that make him unique and special.

4) Consider the type of person he is.
If he’s a fun-loving, casual type, setting up a full-scale romantic assault may actually make him feel more nervous than passionate. He might respond better if you slip “I love you” into a conversation over a picnic lunch, or while laughing at one of your favorite movies.

By the time you get to expressing your love, you should know him pretty well – so pick a time and a place that will be most comfortable for him.

5) Share it, don’t demand it.
You want to tell him how you feel, not blackmail him into saying it back. He may not be ready to say it yet, and if he feels pressured he’ll resent you for it. And no matter what you do, never blurt it out as part of an argument. Screeching, “But I love you!” isn’t romantic, it’s disturbing and selfish.

6) Take the coward’s way out.
If you can’t bring yourself to flat-out say “I love you,” try a less pressure-filled way of saying the same thing. “I love having your arms around me,” “I love how you look in that shirt” and “I really love the way your eyes twinkle when you smile” are smaller declarations and a good way to gauge his feelings.

7) Don’t say it while under the influence.
A glass of wine may give you the courage to say those three little words, but several glasses of wine will just make you sloppy and silly. Besides, think of the message you’re sending him if it looks like you had to get drunk to tell him you love him! Do it while sober, so both of you know that you mean exactly what you say.

8) Be prepared for the worst.
No matter how much you fantasize about him saying “I love you” back, Don’t place all your hopes on it. He may not be ready. Worse, he may not feel the same way about you. Saying “I love you” should be a gift from you to him, not a demand to reciprocate – and if you pin all your hopes on him responding in exactly the way you’ve imagined, you may very well be disappointed.

Have a back-up plan in place in case he doesn’t return your feelings – know in advance that you may end up crying into your pillow or sitting up late with a girlfriend grousing about your broken heart. If he says “I love you back,” that’s great. But if he doesn’t, it’ll go better fo you if you’ve already prepared yourself for that possibility.

Above all, remember that saying “I love you” doesn’t really change anything. While it may be the ending to every romantic movie, exchanging those words doesn’t mean happily ever after. It just means that you’re moving into a slightly different phase of your relationship – there’s still a lot to share with each other, and who knows what joys and challenges lie ahead?

7 Effective Ways To Help A Wife Who Has Debt Problems

It all looked so easy in the situation comedies we grew up watching, whether it was “Leave it to Beaver,” “The Brady Bunch” or “Family Ties.” Women took care of the family and men took care of the money. Maybe, now and then, Mom would save up some money from the grocery allowance to buy herself a new hat, but the bills, the credit cards, the mortgage and everything else were Dad’s dominion.

But it’s a new world we live in, with women working full-time and taking care of their families, too, getting their own credit cards and paying their own way. But not everyone is good with money – and as more women take on credit card debt they can’t manage, more of them are also having to visit debt counselors and file for bankruptcy.

If you’ve married a woman with mounting debt, you may be torn as to what to do about it. On the one hand, you don’t want to put your foot down and act like you’re the big man in charge. But, on the other hand, debt affects you, your credit rating, and your family’s future. What’s the best way to handle a spouse with debt problems?

1) Look for problems early, and nip them in the bud. 

Maybe you didn;t notice that she had money problems before you were married, but you should certainly be able to spot them once you’re living together. Spending might be a problem – does she have a lot of credit cards, and does she do a lot of shopping with them? This is a major red flag. Other things that can lead to financial disaster are medical bills or car repairs, or if she’s simply not bringing enough money into the relationship.

2) Don’t give in to societal pressure. 
Many women are concerned with “keeping up with the Joneses” – having a gorgeous house, new furniture, a late-model car and all the other accouterments of success. Many couples live beyond their means because they want to give the impression of success, but it’s a sure-fire way to end up in debt.

3) Don’t be afraid to talk about money.
Many couples pool their money into one checking account, co-sign each other’s credit card applications and put their spouse’s name on the mortgage without ever bothering to talk about what it all means. If she knows that the debt problems are her fault, she may be hesitant to discuss it – and you don’t want to make her feel bad. But if there are problems, you both need to deal with them head-on, as a team.

4) If necessary, talk to a debt counselor.
Credit counselors offer low-cost, non-judgmental advice, and you can even talk to them over the phone if you feel embarrasses about meeting them face-to-face. Many credit counseling agencies offering a sliding fee scale, and charge just $5 or $10 a month for their service.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, this may be your best solution – especially if money troubles are causing you and your wife to argue incessantly over finances. Credit counselors see people in bad financial straits all the times, and their job is to help you work out your problems. You have nothing to lose by talking to a counselor, and everything to gain.

5) Make her take responsibility for her spending.
Sit down together with a pad of paper and a pencil, and look at where your money goes each month. Start with your income, then subtract what you spend on utilities, groceries, insurance, rent, gas for your car and other expenses. She may not actually know how little money is left over after all the essentials are taken care of.

Try a software program like Quicken and have her track her money by logging every expense, from her afternoon latte to those new shoes she just “had” to have. When she sees the evidence of her debt in black and white, she won’t be able to pretend that it’s not a problem.

6) Set goals together to pay down debt.
If she’s paying the minimum on her credit cards each month, she’s accumulating more debt rather than decreasing it because of the hefty interest. Make it a goal to pay more than the minimum and get out from under at least one credit card, and set a realistic goal as yo when you’ll do it.

Then cut up all of the store credit cards – if she doesn’t have the cash, then she can’t buy it. If she’s addicted to shopping, she’ll find this difficult, but it’s the only way to get out of debt.

7) Think twice before filing for bankruptcy.
It may sound like an appealing way out of debt – file for bankruptcy and have your debts erased. But in many cases you’ll still have to pay off the debts, usually in three to five years.

And a bankruptcy filing will remain on your credit report for up to 10 years, even if you’ve cleared all of your debt well before then, and can affect your ability to get jobs, insurance or future loans. It should only be considered a last resort.

The best way to deal with your wife’s debt is to talk about it and make a plan for the future. Dealing with money problems is never easy, but marriage is about teamwork – which means both of you have to take responsibility for your finances.